| WASHINGTON: United States President George W. Bush yesterday apologised to the American people for apologising to the Chinese in the wake of the Spy-plane affair.
"Those damn Chinese tricked not only me, but the entire nation of the U.S," Bush said in a rare meeting with reporters. "When the Chinese President demanded an apology for the crash between our surveillance aircraft and their fighter pilot I says to him "Why hell no!" "Of course this Beijing buckeroo got a titsy nasty so I says to him "Looky-here Charlie Chang, it was your goddamned fighter plane that smashed into our bigger plane and in inter... world air space! It's us that want a goddamned apology!" President Red then said something about a dead pilot and - well I thought let's just be a little Christian here. So I told him we were sorry. In fact, I told him we were very sorry. Somehow, Charlie was suddenly happy with that." The servicemen on board the Navy EP-3E surveillance plane were then released. It wasn't until after his actions that Bush realised what he had done. "Next thing Dad says to me "Dubya, you've apologised to goddamned red!" I says, "No Dad, I ain't!" and he throws a diction... book of words at me and tells me to look up "apology." How was I to know that being very sorry was the same as apologising? I had to ask Uncle Dick how to even spell apologise." "Therefore, I apologise, that is I am very sorry, to the American people for being very sorry - or apologising - to those red people." President Bush then told reporters his head hurt and he was going to have some milk and cookies and his afternoon nap.  Bush prepares to whop some Chinese arse. Southern style. |
| Bush apologises for saying sorry |
Tuesday, 01 May 2001 12:00
