WASHINGTON: He may have been President of the United States for nearly two full terms, but George W. Bush still can’t seem to set up a meeting with the alien known only as Starman.  Bush has been determined to meet the secretive Starman since first hearing of the alien being in David Bowie’s 70’s hit single of the same name.

“After being elected in 2000 I sent an email to the head of NASA to set up a meeting, but he never got back to me, then I got distracted with war, then with golf, then with the Gulf War and finally with golf in the gulf and forgot all about it,” stated Bush.  “Then the other day someone did "Starman" on the Karaoke on Air Force One and it got me thinking that I better get onto setting up a meeting pronto.”

“I emailed the NASA guy again last week and I CC’ed Dick in as well, but still he hasn’t got back to me,” bemoaned the president.   

 "It wouldn’t be such a problem if his contact details were in Outlook.  I’ve had a look and there is no Starman in the Staff Directory.  I even tried guessing his email address and sent a message to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , but to no avail."

“Perhaps he’s just protecting me, because he’s scared he’ll blow my mind, but I’ve seen a lot in the last seven years as president.  I am sure I can handle whatever he has to share with me, whether that be crazy hovercrafts that fly in the sky or magic pills that let you understand a foreign language after taking them.”

“Starman if you’re reading this, I assure you that I will be able to cope with whatever you want to share with me, please get in touch!” Bush pleaded. “What makes it worse is one of the cleaners in the cafeteria reckons that he heard that Clinton got to meet him, they even played a game of backgammon!”