U.S. military introduce Napalm Classic
Sunday, 01 February 2004 12:00
WASHINGTON DC: Following recent confusion over the use of Napalm<sup>®</sup> on targets in Iraq, the U.S. Military has released Napalm Classic<sup>®</sup>. Last March Col. Randolph Alles, commander of Marine Air Group 11, admitted to the napalming of approaches to bridges over the Saddam Canal and Tigris River, both in Baghdad. “The generals love Napalm<sup>®</sup>,” said Col. Alles. “It creates terror and confusion and has a big psychological effect.”

The Pentagon was quick to dispel the allegations that Napalm was ever used in Iraq. “We use the Mark 77 Firebomb<sup>®</sup>,” claimed Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld last month. “Its ingredients include kerosene-based jet fuel and a smaller concentration of benzene than we used in the original Napalm<sup>®</sup> formula. As such, its effects are more environmentally friendly.”

Weapons manufacturer Lockheed Martin spokesman Capt. Merrill Stubing admitted that the use of the term “Napalm<sup>®</sup>” by U.S. military personnel underlined the popularity of the original Nalpalm<sup>®</sup> formula. “To cater to those who prefer the old Napalm<sup>®</sup> formula, Lockheed Martin has decided to make up limited batches of polystyrene, gasoline and benzene and re-release this as Napalm Classic<sup>®</sup>. We expect this mixture to regain its former popularity and increase our market share in incendiary bombs,” said Stubing.


Lockheed Martin return to the classic Napalm® formula
 
Spinner - New Zealand's Leadings News © 2010