| KUWAIT - U.S. central command this morning announced that all friendly fire incidents from now on will be known as cute little pixie fire accidents. General Tommy Franks hoped that the new terminology would ease the suffering of the families of soldiers killed by the American forces.
He also announced further plans to eliminate the rate of cute little pixie fire deaths amongst coalition forces. “We have asked that British forces paint their tanks neon pink in an effort to eliminate firing on them with tankbuster artillery from our air force. We have also asked that they dress in those classic old red coat uniforms from last century to make it easier to identify them rather than that darned tricky camouflage colouring,” said Franks. These new changes come hot on the heels of the latest pixie fire incident involving British forces, after a Tornado jet was shot down by a U.S. patriot missile over Kuwait today. Missile battery operator, Private Chad Lightyear said that the accident was "The darndest thing. I saw this plane come up on the radar so I launched a missile at it. It was only when I had fired it I realised that Iraq doesn’t have any operational jets so it must be one of ours. Luckily it was British. Man the boys sure gave me some razzing when I got back to base!" The Patriot missile hits its target at Mach 3, ensuring little chance of survival for those on board. A US marine who witnessed the explosion described it as "Purty".  A copy of the greeting card that will accompany flowers sent to grieving families by US military |
| Friendly fire to now be known as cute little pixie fire |
Tuesday, 01 April 2003 12:00
