Methods of oil production, weapons of mass destruction found in Iraq
Saturday, 01 February 2003 12:00
WASHINGTON - In his annual State of the Union address to the U.S. last month President George W. Bush reinforced his insistence that Iraq harboured weapons of mass destruction. He also revealed sinister new evidence that suggests that the Iraqi's have developed advanced Methods of Oil Production.

"You cannot deny that Iraq has the second largest oil output in the world. What they will do with that output is wreak havoc on every God-fearing American and Western civilian in the world. My fellow Americans, we have intelligence reports that suggest the Iraqis intend to use these Methods of Oil Production to further their own economic position with complete disregard for the interests of Corporate America.”

The response of middle America was swift, with talk-shows across the continent bombarded by calls for America to immediately go to war.

Randy Anderson, a 35-year old salesman from Alabama perhaps summed up the sentiment of middle America best, during his call to a local talk radio show.

"We gotta bomb those sons-of-sheiks so we can get our mitts on all that oil. Can you imagine how many coloureds me and the boys will be able to tar and feather with that much oil?”

Bush also used the speech to downgrade his rating of North Korea, Iraq and Iran from the "Axis of Evil" to the "Axis of Extreme Mischief". The President announced that he had previously mis-overestimated the threat these nations posed to United States interests elsewhere in the world and has subsequently decided that their actions were "more mischievous than darn right evil."


Bush admits he mis-overestimated the threat posed by the <i>Axis: Bold As Love </i>Nations
 
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