GENEVA - Sir Michael Fay has extended an invitation to outgoing Telecom CEO Theresa Gattung to live with him and his fellow business partner David Richwhite in Switzerland. In a personal letter to Ms Gattung, Fay wrote...

T Gattung

"The Swiss are a forgiving bunch. They don't care which country you've ripped off, how many industries you've suppressed or how hated you are in your country of birth. In fact many of the Swiss are exiled from their own countries - having ripped their homelands for much more than the $600 million that I stole from New Zealand taxpayers."

"Although the Swiss don't give out knighthoods for thievery," added Sir Michael.  "They still have a good place to lay low to ensure one's not made to give one's back."

Michael Fay reportedly lives next door to the real Saddam Hussein in a rural town on the outskirts of Geneva. Fay continues to maintain links with New Zealand, including his ownership of a compound and on Great Mercury Island, situated off the Coromandel Peninsula, where keeps his gunpowder, whiskey and assorted treasure in secret caves that are only accessible at low tide.

Gattung walks away from eight years running Telecom New Zealand’s largest listed company, with more than $4 million in payouts (on top of a base salary of $1.25 million and performance payouts totaling more than $2 million).

The money was a just reward for maintaining such a dangerous position for so long.  The CEO’s of company’s found guilty of profiteering during War time risked the death penalty.  The thought of similar penalties being imposed at any time must have been at the back of Gattung’s mind throughout her tenure. 

Switzerland may not be such an inappropriate place of residence for Gattung, as she faces a $550,000 restraint of trade agreement making it difficult to secure a relevant job in New Zealand for some time.