| DUNEDIN: University of Otago Professor Brian Mason is very excited about the consequences of the forthcoming Auckland Mayoral election. Prof. Mason hopes that the results of the election will be able to answer a question that he has been researching for the past 20 years - are Aucklander's wankers?
Prof. Mason who specialises in Social Psychology has been studying group attitudes for the past twenty years. On the basis of his research Prof. Mason feels that there is an overwhelming body of evidence to suggest that the attitudes and personalities of groups of people differentiate between geographic locations. "In rural areas it is not uncommon for people to feel that those in one valley have different personality types to perhaps those who live in the next valley. This too can be said for larger population centres such as cities." "It has long been the contention that people who live in Christchurch for example are one-eyed sore losers, and people from Wellington are dull, dim-witted bureaucrats. Undoubtedly the most widely held conception, however, is that people who live in Auckland are a bunch of wankers." Without a standardised bastard test, however, these contentions have been nothing more than generalisations or stereotypes. But now with John Banks standing for the Mayoralty of Auckland, Mason believes he has finally found the litmus test he has been looking for. The test to prove once and for all - are Aucklander's wankers. Prof. Mason is adamant that if John Banks wins the forthcoming Auckland Mayoral race then this would provide irrefutable evidence that those people who live in the Auckland area are bigger wankers than those who live outside of the Auckland area. "There is no denying that it takes a shit load of wankers to vote someone like John Banks into office" Prof. Mason concluded. Aucklander's have until the voting deadline on Saturday October 13 to confirm if they are wankers or not.  John Banks, politician and walking litmus test |
| Banks to provide Ultimate Litmus Test |
Monday, 01 October 2001 12:00
