| NEW PLYMOUTH: Serious embarrassment was narrowly avoided yesterday when a twenty-three year old man managed to explain away the blackened appearance of a spotting knife, to his visiting mother. Kenneth Hill of New Plymouth performed the feat during a routine parental visit to his flat yesterday afternoon.
"I thought I had hidden all our spotting knifes in the tea towel drawer" reported Hill, "but then Mum picks up one which my flatmate Jeff must have left on the bench, and she’s like "What happened to this?" "I had to think fast, so I told her we sometimes used it to pull toast out of the toaster because sometimes it got stuck. It was pretty lame, but I think she bought it." Further support for Hill’s summation that his mother believed the deception was provided when Mrs Hill began to lecture him about the general safety procedures to be undertaken when dealing with electrical appliances. "She got all like "Well make sure you turn the power off," and "you shouldn’t go putting metal objects in toaster’s" and stuff. At least it was better than the time I told her that the cum stains on my sheets were washing powder marks." This is not the first time that Hill has had to act quickly to mislead his parents. In 1997 Hill attributed "a bad feed of KFC" that he had eaten the previous evening for the vomit stains outside his bedroom window. While in 1999, he lied to his Mother when he told her that Gary often "top and tailed" after Rugby Practice, because he didn’t want to risk the drive home with "a couple of beers under his belt." Diary Of Deception Aug. 1997 KFC Tower Burger accountable for vomit stains outside window. Dec. 1998 Jeff is experimenting with hydroponics in order to grow tomatoes. Nov. 1999 Gary's sleeping over attributed to avoidance of possible drink driving conviction. May 2001 Jeff's new car paid for by second division Lotto win. July 2000 Cum stains on sheets blamed on "washing detergent." Feb. 2001 Told Mother that spotting knives were used to leverage burnt toast from toaster. |
| Man misleads Mother about drug paraphernalia |
Thursday, 01 February 2001 12:00
