BLUFF: Mother Nature is reportedly "devastated" at missing an opportunity to wipe the town of Invercargill off the map in the early hours of Sunday morning, and has more than made her displeasure felt by subjecting the whole of New Zealand to a lashing of snow flurries, rain and gale force winds.

The ruler of the world's weather patterns had arranged for an earthquake, near the sub Antarctic Auckland Islands at 6:24pm last Sunday, to set off a tsunami and wipe the rural sea-level town of Invercargill from the map of New Zealand. The earthquake, which measured 7.4 on the Richter scale, hit 500km south-west of New Zealand; however insiders close to Mother Nature claim she was distracted by her children and forgot to initiate the ensuing tsunami.
 
"You know how it is with us mothers," GNS Science spokesperson Lorraine Smith told Spinner. "Once we have kids, we just don't have the memory capacity we used to. When Mother Nature realised she'd forgotten to deploy the tsunami she set off another quake, which measured 6.8 on the Richter scale and struck at around 11pm. Something must have distracted her again, however, because she missed this second chance at sending forth a great tidal wave to cleanse the world of Invercargill."
 
Mother Nature is said to be angry at Invercargill, a town built on the site of a glorious prehistoric forest which was razed to the ground in the 18th century, after Invercargillites called their town "the city of water and light. "Mother Nature had been clear that they were to pick only one," an insider said.
 
Invercargill Mayor Tim Shadbolt issued a press release immediately following the two earthquakes. "Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill Invercargill," he said.