PALMERSTON NORTH: A Massey University study into the breakfast spread preferences of dyslexic subjects has uncovered some surprising results. In research conducted by researchers at the University, it was found that dyslexic subjects were far more likely to show no preference between Marmite and Vegemite as a non-dyslexic control group.

War of the spreads

"Not only are dyslexic people more likely to be ambidextrous, they are more likely to show no preference between these two starkly contrasting breakfast spreads," stated lead researcher Dr. William May. "Conversely, 90% of control group subjects strongly preferred one of the yeast extracted spreads over the other."

Arguments over which of the two spreads is better are known to have split families, with some commentators claiming the spreads contribute to domestic violence and even murder.

The research team are continuing their studies into dyslexia in the hope of unlocking the causes of this mysterious learning disorder. Dr May's team will next investigate if dyslexics have any strong preference between Blur and Oasis, Skiing and Snowboarding or first-five-eighths Carlos Spencer and Andrew Mehrtens.