| AUCKLAND: Auckland resident and long time avoider of public conveniences, Toby Gardner, reluctantly made use of a public toilet in Kingsland yesterday. Gardner was forced to amend plans for his Sunday afternoon stroll when the powerful forces of nature began to dictate his agenda at around 4.30pm.
Upon recognising his predicament, the mildly distressed Gardner felt that he could make it home in time to use his own amenities. After an extended wait at the traffic lights, however, Gardner had to concede that the chances of returning home without excess baggage were highly unlikely, and thoughts quickly turned to locating an alternative venue. Gardner, who proudly hasn't used a public toilet since 1997, initially hoped to make it to a nearby café, but upon touching cloth, he had no alternative but to drop the kids off at the first pool he could encounter. Quickening his pace, Gardner soon made it to the Public Toilets outside the Kingsland Train Station. To his relief no body else was using the facilities upon his arrival. After quickly scanning the three cubicles to ensure that nobody was lurking and that each was sufficiently stocked with toilet paper, Gardner selected the larger disabled booth (to reduce the chances of accidentally coming in contact with a wall), carefully wiped the toilet seat and quickly backed one out. "I usually enjoy taking my time when I'm laying cable," said Gardner, "but not today. I was in and out of there like a US delegate at the earth summit." All in all, Gardner rated the experience as one of the better public toilet episodes he has had to endure. "I remember one time at the train station in Timaru. Someone had pasted a gay porn pic on the inside of the toilet door, and as the other cubicles were being used I had no choice but to put up with it." "Now that has to be one of the most uncomfortable dumps I've ever had," summed up Gardner. "Excluding follow throughs of course."  The Reluctantly Used Toilet |
| Public toilet reluctantly used |
Sunday, 01 September 2002 12:00
